How to be more compelling

If you’re looking to become more compelling, good for you. 

The potential of becoming a more influential person is massive. 

Think about it.

From Oprah Winfrey to Bill Clinton, they have appealed tons of people and effected many lives.

They just have IT.

But what exactly is IT? 

What exactly does it mean to be compelling? 

We will get to that in a few. 

Needless to say, you’ve made the right decision.  With tons of information out there, it’s challenging to decipher what’s important and what isn’t. Being aware of the importance of becoming more of a compelling person in today's world is crucial. 

But there’s a catch. 

If you want to be a more compelling person, you need understand what it is. You need to be able to spot it when you see it. 

Everyone wants to be more compelling, but what does that mean?

We are often judged on how we act whether we like it or not. 

It’s just how it is. 

A compelling person is someone who appeals to us. 

It’s driven by strength and warmth. 

The more you open up and display warmth, the less people fear you.

The more power you get, the more people fear you. 

On the contrary, as people warm up to you there is a certain tipping point where people just don’t listen to you. It’s why nice people are often taken advantage of. 

If you’re too aggressive there is also a certain point where it can backfire on you. People will often think of you as a jerk and try to avoid you. 

The key is to be aware of where you stand. 

Find a balance.

A balance of warmth and strength would be this: The first thoughts about you are that you are a kind person. This should be followed by: yes, you’re a kind person but people also know not to double cross and mess with you. 

What to do if you’re unbalanced?

If you find yourself on the warmth side, here are some things you can do to strengthen up:

• Do some weight-lifting 
• Get involved in competitive sports or activities
• Take on challenges
• Accept uncomfortable methods

If you find yourself on the strength side, here are some things you can do to work on warmth:

• Work on being more funny 
•  Make an effort to listen more
• Smile
• Be humble  

What already compels people? 

Keep this point in mind: Compelling = Virality

Videos on YouTube often go viral because they both have a touch of uniqueness and familiarity.

Anything familiar without a touch of innovation is just seen as common and often overlooked. 

Often the problem that comes up is that we may create something so unique and different that people are kind of shocked by it and view it as weird.

A little weird factor in your personality is okay. But anything over the top will just freak people out.

In other words, make you less compelling.

Conclusion

Once you struck a balance on warmth and strength, apply this notion of virality and you will become a compelling person overtime. 

You may start off unknown and non-moving, but it will grow as you become more compelling.

From 1-10 what are you in strength when you walk into a room?

What about in warmth? 

Share your thoughts below. 

My name is Romario Villanueva.  Entrepreneur & blogger. I'm a graduate from Rutgers University with several certifications from top schools through Coursera. I love all things business, psychology, and basketball. Feel free to reach out to me on Twitter or LinkedIn