The 4 M's of Motivation & How You Can Use Pain For Motivation

If there were only one way to motivate yourself to get you to accomplish your goals and vision, would you give it a try?

Of course you would, if you were truly serious about making that positive change in your life.

All aspects of your life can improve to your standard by using one simple principle. It doesn't matter if its related to money, your health, or even improving your social life.

That principle revolves around pain.

No this isn't a joke.

Pain is a part of your life. No matter how you want to turn the tables it is, was and will be a part of your life. So why not use it to your advantage? Ironically, must people try to avoid or become numb to pain through extreme measures with drugs, other hazardous methods and sometimes by suicide.

I'm not ignorant to the fact that there are severe cases where it's best to seek out professional help, but it's also known that not everyone has a severe case. Sometimes our mindset tricks us into thinking all is hopeless and overtime we become good at making arguments to support what we are feeling.

Getting back to pain, what exactly is it? What do we feel once we experience pain?

According to Tony Robbins, pain is when our life conditions don't match your model of the world.  As a result, we suffer—feel hopeless and powerless because we feel like we can't do anything to change it.

You could see the clear distinction between both pain and suffering. Pain is inevitable while suffering is optional.

So if you're frustrated with life, hurt from losing your job or let down by a loved one, your suffering will stop. Life is constantly changing and your suffering will change so you can take that next step to accomplish what you seek.

What Motivates Me
What motivates him, her, you and me is different.

Looking at the 4 M's of Motivation will give you a better understanding on what motivates you:

• Material Things- Money, Nice Homes, Luxurious cars, Expensive Clothes
• Mating- Relations, Love, Romance, Social Life
• Mastery- Status, Respect
• Momentum- Movement, Action

Which ever your motivation is run with it. Forget societal norms that say it's wrong to align your life with one of these motivations. If it makes you happy and makes a positive contribution to your overall wellness why not? I'm not talking about extremes because you can take things too far. On the other hand, you might not know what motivates you which can also cause problems and frustration.

How Can I Use Pain For Motivation  
Pain opens up this deep well inside us. It's up to us to fill that well with something that aligns with what motivates us.

Lets say you want to physically look great and be healthy to attract someone. Your motivation might be Mating. Naturally we tend to fall in line with the pain-avoidance tendency despite the obvious signs that we can benefit or help ourselves by facing pain.

Don't fall victim to this tendency.

Being aware that is exists is a start and overtime you catch yourself before you fall victim to it.

Now you have to ask yourself is temporary pain of lifting weights for an hour, doing sprints when your tired or going outside for a brisk morning jog worth it? Isn't it less painful than living an unhealthy life when you don't feel physically good and left unfulfilled because you can't attract that special person you had your eyes on.

When the pain of disappoint outweighs the temporary pain of exercising only then will you overcome it to make it part of your daily life and achieve what you set out for.

My name is Romario Villanueva.  Entrepreneur & blogger. I'm a graduate from Rutgers University with several certifications from top schools through Coursera. I love all things business, psychology, and basketball. Feel free to reach out to me on Twitter or LinkedIn

Your competence becomes your confidence.

Whether you get invited to a party, interviewing to get that dream career, or impress your date, there is one factor that often gets in the way: confidence.

In particular, a lack of self-confidence means you lose sight in yourself.

The same can be said with being over-confident. 

You usually don’t want to lose confidence.

On the contrary, today many people are overconfident which can lead you down the wrong path too.

Of course, everyone’s confidence varies in different aspects of life. 

You can get nervous meeting new people. You can feel anxious at social events.

How many of you had your tongue-tied when trying to talk to your boss?

How about being petrified to make a speech?

It’s okay, if you aren’t that confident now. 

That can change.

The point I want to get across to you is that it doesn’t magically just change.

You may have heard this advice now or growing up “don’t worry things will get better” or “you’re already good enough.”

This isn’t necessarily wrong.

The problem with this advice is it’s incomplete. 

Most people’s view and take on the power of positive thinking is things will get better just because. Even worse, they are delusional to the fact that life will bring some struggles, conflicts and adversity. Some people won’t even want to phantom any negative possible outcomes due to some superstition that it will come true.

But at the end, as the billionaire Warren Buffett says “Only when the tide goes do you discover who’s been swimming naked.” Things may look great now, but that can quickly change. 

So let says you’re not confident in public speaking, but you happen to be speaking to a small receptive crowd. Overall you did a pretty decent job. You managed to cram and get by. The next time you have to give a presentation you decide because you didn’t prep last time and did well it would be a piece of cake. This time though, your audience is a bit larger. They even seem to be more inclined to analyze what you are saying.  Despite you believing in yourself and thinking you will do great, you end up flopping.

Now, I want to be clear that this isn’t negative thinking.

I believe its reality thinking. 

In fact, most success in life is accomplished not just solely on positive thinking, but some pessimistic thoughts (fear) that motivates you and propels you to undergo some preparation.

There are some great tips in How to Feel Confident by Leil Lowndes that can definitely come in handy. 

But the one that usually trumps all is: reps.

Repetition sounds like simple advice. 

So why does everyone get angry when it’s not some complex hack or unique?

Because simple doesn’t mean easy.

And it’s not just reps as in putting in the hours. 

You have to put in quality hours consistently day in and out to achieve the success you want. 

This is when your competence becomes your confidence.  

My name is Romario Villanueva.  Entrepreneur & blogger. I'm a graduate from Rutgers University with several certifications from top schools through Coursera. I love all things business, psychology, and basketball. Feel free to reach out to me on Twitter or LinkedIn

Inattentional Blindness: The Secrets To Success Aren't Sometimes Complex Secrets

Whatever you think about McDonalds, whether it’s that you love their hamburgers or feel like they are a plight on the world that contributes to obesity, it’s an undeniable fact that they are a phenomenal business success. 

A business that is recognized globally.

One would assume that there must be a secret hack or trick to their success.

But as you read Grinding It Out, you come to realize that Ray Kroc built this empire on some simple principles: Integrity, genuinely helping customers and associates, and helping your team grow, prosper and develop too. The focus was more on collaboration as oppose to just competition. 

If you look at other successful entrepreneurs you will see a reoccurring theme: knowledge. 

In this particular case, it’s the McDonald’s HamburgerUniversity to help develop staff with tangible and social skills. 

This resonated with his personality as a problem solver. 

Not only did he solve his customers and associates problems with his products and services, he actually helped solve other people’s problems that extended beyond the scope of his practice. 

In other words, Ray Kroc gave people value. 

Some may scoff at this and view it as a joke.

How can you give value off of hamburgers? 

It’s more than just hamburgers. It’s the relationships you build with people and the demonstration of hard working people who were just trying to make a living. Ray Kroc didn’t just make himself a wealthy man. He helped others become wealthy in the process. 

You have to respect his revolution in the automation of food service, franchising, focus on national training, real-estate, focus on retail distribution and a pioneer in advertising on television. 

Not many people have the awareness to jump in on new innovations. 

Personally, I feel McDonalds wasn’t built for people to purposely get obese and create health issues. When we look at McDonalds now, we don’t see the values that it was first built upon. 

The values were something the average Joe can relate to: hard work, integrity and being of service.

Nobody is perfect and infallible. That shouldn’t prevent you from taking in the positives that can help you in your own venture.  

 My name is Romario Villanueva.  Entrepreneur & blogger. I'm a graduate from Rutgers University with several certifications from top schools through Coursera. I love all things business, psychology, and basketball. Feel free to reach out to me on Twitter or LinkedIn

Where Can We Find The Truth In Life?

Imagine a group of highly intellectual gifted individuals gathering together.

You can say for one purpose.

To find the Truth.

But within that purpose, each is driven by selfish reasons.

Why?

Well, not everyone’s Truth is similar.

The group in this spiritual awakening journey was called The League.

They consisted of philosophers, artists, thinkers, writers and poets.

As The League ventured off to The Journey To The East, they slowly began to realize the importance of this man called Leo. 

You can say Leo was like an advisor, a mentor, a guru, and a friend. 

Leo’s title was that of a servant.

Despite his title, his good nature and calming presence resonated well with everyone. He left the atmosphere with potent sense of good omen. You can say this was an act of a true leader. 

As expected in any course of life, The League hit an obstacle. 

Leo disappeared.

And with that, The League slowly started to crumble. 

Some lost faith.

Accusations of missing items came about.

Some turned on each other.

The search for the Truth ended that day for some…

What did this mean? 

Does this mean the Truth we search for isn’t out there?

I feel that this was one of the themes Hermann Hesse vividly illustrated for us readers. 

But, I respectfully disagree.

Don’t get me wrong. There is a time to search within. 

However, most of our answers are found outwardly. That doesn’t mean physically moving from  place to place, even though it could be—traveling and gaining new perspectives in life. It could also mean grabbing a book from an author who devoted their life to a particular field. It could also mean reaching out to a new group of people who are years ahead of where we want to be through conferences and mentors.

In life, there are far and few between people with original thoughts and answers. Most of us aren’t those unique once in a life time people. I don’t necessarily mean that in a negative way. 

It’s okay that we aren’t. With time we can become pretty gifted in one avenue in life.

But for now we are students.

A student can learn from within, from our own errors. But the cost of that is time which is something we cannot gain back.

If we look at other people's errors and mistakes in life we save time. Reading and studying from the greats who reached the pinnacle of their careers can lead us closer to our end goal.

You can say the Truth is out there. 

 My name is Romario Villanueva.  Entrepreneur & blogger. I'm a graduate from Rutgers University with several certifications from top schools through Coursera. I love all things business, psychology, and basketball. Feel free to reach out to me on Twitter or LinkedIn