Thursday, January 19, 2017

Life is Competition, Conflict & Adversity

“Nature has not read very carefully the American Declaration of Independence or the French Revolutionary Declaration of the Rights of Man.” Will Durant

There's a constant struggle that is created by nature. Yet, this indifference brings forth evolution.

Is competition the father of all things?
Is adversity the father of all things?
How are the sources of all ideas created?
What does peace bring?

All these questions bring us closer to the answer.

Growing up I was always taught that I should avoid stress. That I should avoid discomfort.
Especially in today's world where having a lack of convenience is looked down upon.

Convenience is the meaning of our culture.

This leads us to the subject of the truth. A lot of people can talk about the truth. But very few engage in the truth when making their decisions.

What does this have to do with convenience and avoiding stress?
Some of us can't face the truth because it hurts. Inconvenience and stress causes us pain.

But if the truth can lead to new ideas and growth then, one could argue that conflict isn't so bad. That conflict should actually be sought after.

Now many would point to war and politics as a source of negative conflict. And there might be some truth to that. But that is highly controversial and I would like to steer away from subjects that take it to the extreme where death is often a result.

The more important thing that we should focus on is things that pertain to your daily life.

Is having conflict in your life a good thing?

One can say there is no growth in peace. Competition, that friction, moves us towards new inventions and new ideas. Think about it. If you're fired and lose your job, you're often forced to apply yourself in obtaining a new job or even creating one. And often, you would have to gain new skills. Not having a job creates the conflict. Not having the money creates the stress which brings forth gaining new skills due to competition.

You may say you don't want to live in a world with conflict. Well to be frank, you can either learn the easy way or the hard way. Because as Will Durant said, nature doesn't guarantee us happiness or fairness. Regardless of what we feel either you conform to mother nature's rules or feel nature's wrath.

Most people view being fired or rejected as good or bad. Why can't it just be? Looking at the consistent pattern of the great minds today, they have this approach. They embrace conflict. They embrace the truth. They embrace life.

All of this makes you wonder what the meaning of life is. Throughout history the constant is conflict. Of course, conflict and competition causes us stress. But without it, we aren't compelled to act upon any given action and improve. You can say many of us are living life backwards...chasing a mirage of  being in a state of bliss. Peace isn't living...

My name is Romario Villanueva.  Entrepreneur & blogger. I'm a graduate from Rutgers University with several certifications from top schools through Coursera. I love all things business, psychology, and basketball. Feel free to reach out to me on Facebook and LinkedIn

Friday, January 13, 2017

Laziness, willpower, and the weak link in your life.
You can't only rely on will power.

The bigger the change, the more it will sap self-control.


It causes exhaustion of mental muscles which are needed to focus, inhibit impulses and persist when facing frustration or failure. In essence, you are exhausting muscles needed for change.

Change is hard not because you are lazy, but because you are wearing yourself out.

So it's important you respect the signs your body tells you.

We aren't super human.

So don't try to be.

Putting yourself in a position to win and succeed is obviously the best choice.

But many of us take on simultaneous goals where we get tired and run out of fuel because we are running on willpower.

With that in mind, when you have something hard to do, do it first. Before you know it, it's almost done.

Ironically, most advice given is to do the simple thing first and save the hardest for last.

Whether it's getting in shape, reading more or writing a book, decide what is the most important thing to you.

Focus on that.

And don't try to simultaneously read a book a day, exercise 3hrs a day and write a book.

Instead, experiment with focusing on one thing.

Get up at 4am and workout.


Get up at 4am and read. 


Get up at 4am and write.

Your brain is recharged and you will knock it out first thing after waking up.

Why? This stops mental exhaustion.

When focusing on the most important thing to you at the moment in your life, you will eliminate decision paralysis. You won't freeze up trying to decide which to do.

Now this doesn't mean you get to neglect the other goals you have set. But you will do less of it. In other words, you're not completely ignoring any important aspect of your life. You're just giving priority on what is most important so you won't rely just on willpower when it gets tough.

For example, lets say you're reading 3 books a week and you're almost done writing your own book. However, you haven't put a lot of focus on your body. Your physical health seems to be lacking. So focus on the weak link. Decide to put massive efforts into that area and do less of the other stuff.

It's basically adapting to how your life currently is. You can still do the other things, but your big burst is done focusing on that one thing.

This isn't any wish washy opinion. There is actual science behind it. There were studies done on willpower.

When people were placed in a room with mouth watering cookies as oppose to broccoli, studies showed people in the room with cookies were more likely to spend money. Why? Your mental energy to fight off temptation drains your willpower and leaves you vulnerable other things you are trying to save money.

Many people believe cliches such as you have to be tough and try to do it all. 

But really it's not only character traits that define a successful change.

Of course, it's part of it, but not the complete story. You have to put yourself in a position to win and not always try to be heroic.

Don't beat yourself up.

Focus on the weak link in your life and put majority of your energy on that.

What's your biggest weak link now?

My name is Romario Villanueva.  Entrepreneur & blogger. I'm a graduate from Rutgers University with several certifications from top schools through Coursera. I love all things business, psychology, and basketball. Feel free to reach out to me on Facebook and LinkedIn